Embracing Self-Love on the Journey to Joy
Written By Latosha Walker
Founder & CEO, Wondering.Waves | Military Spouse | Creator | Storyteller
Published: November 13, 2025
Welcome to Day 13 of Our Mindfulness Series: Learning to Value Yourself. Today, we explore a vital step on the journey to joy: learning to truly value and care for yourself. This practice can open the door to a more joyful, fulfilling life—especially for those of us who have spent years putting others first.
Navigating the Challenges of Finding Joy
Joy isn’t always easy to find, especially when life feels like a constant whirlwind of change and responsibility. As a military spouse and creator, I’m still learning how to shift my mindset toward one that’s more mindful and joyful. This isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about embracing the journey, with its ups and downs, discoveries and setbacks.
There are days when I feel stretched thin, overwhelmed by the weight of expectations and the demands of juggling family, creativity, and community. On those days, joy can feel like a distant memory or a luxury that’s just out of reach. It’s tempting to push it aside, telling myself I’ll come back to it “later,” when things settle down.
But through this ongoing practice, I’m beginning to see that joy isn’t about perfection or constant happiness. It’s about learning to be present with whatever arises—the good, the hard, and everything in between—and gently making space for joy even amid challenges.
One of the most important lessons I’m discovering is that joy often appears when I stop chasing it. When I allow myself to simply be present—whether in a moment of laughter with family, the quiet satisfaction of creating something with my hands, or even in the stillness of a breath—I open the door for joy to enter naturally.
Of course, this journey isn’t linear. I have days when I forget to pause, when I let stress or fatigue overshadow joy. But each time I return to this practice—mindfulness, gratitude, connection—I feel a little stronger, a little more open to the well of joy inside me.
A peaceful moment of mindful self-care—knitting and journaling by a window overlooking serene Texas cotton fields and prickly pear cactus at sunrise. Embracing self-love as a vital step on the journey to joy.
The Foundations of Service and Values
Growing up deeply religious as a Seventh Day Adventist, the heart of serving others was always front and center. Every month, it seemed like we were out in the community—raking leaves for neighbors, painting the schoolhouse, or even embarking on mission trips to Belize to build schoolrooms. Volunteering wasn’t just something I did; it was part of who I was from a very young age.
That spirit of service has followed me into military life, where giving back and supporting others remains a core value. And while I’m not a practicing Seventh Day Adventist anymore, I find myself still leaning heavily on many of the same lifestyle and personal values I grew up with: prioritizing health and wellness, striving for excellence, living with integrity, and practicing good stewardship of my time, talents, and resources. These principles are woven into my daily life, shaping how I care for myself and how I show up for others.
Learning to Value Yourself: Opening the Door to Joy
One of the biggest lessons I’m learning on this journey is that the way we see ourselves shapes the kind of life we allow ourselves to live. It’s a lesson that keeps showing up, sometimes in the quietest moments—when I catch myself putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, or when I notice that little voice whispering, “You don’t really need that,” or “You should be doing more for others.”
But here’s what I’m discovering: those old beliefs don’t have to run the show. The more I practice tuning in and listening to what I truly need—rest, comfort, creativity, joy—the more I realize that I am worthy of those things. Not because I checked every box or did everything perfectly, but simply because I am human, and that’s enough.
It’s not always easy to shift these patterns. Sometimes, I still find myself blocking the good things, thinking, “Maybe later,” or “Someone else needs this more.” But each time I choose to care for myself, even in a small way, I feel the door to joy open just a little wider. It’s a practice—a gentle, ongoing invitation to value myself, to let good things in, and to believe that I am worthy of all the love and joy this life has to offer.
Cultivating Mindful Moments: Small Acts of Self-Care That Open the Door to Joy
On this journey of learning to value myself, I’ve found that joy often blooms in the smallest, most ordinary moments—those simple acts of self-care that remind me I matter.
One of my current mindful practices is knitting a triangle shawl using a beautiful collection of vibrant silk and cotton yarn I brought back from Japan. Each time I pick up my needles, I feel a quiet calm wash over me. The gentle click of the needles is like a soothing rhythm, and the yarn’s soft texture slips through my fingers like a comforting whisper. The rich colors of the silk remind me of the vibrant streets and serene temples I visited, and knitting becomes a way to carry a piece of that experience with me.
There was a moment early on when I realized I wouldn’t have enough silk yarn to finish the shawl. Instead of feeling frustration or disappointment, I embraced the challenge. I added a white cotton yarn—also from Japan—with a similar thickness, and began striping the two together. Watching the colors dance and blend as the silk slowly ran out felt like a metaphor for life itself—sometimes vibrant and full, sometimes simple and pure, but always moving forward.
As I knit, my mind often drifts to reflections on self-care and worth. Each stitch is a gentle reminder that caring for myself is not indulgent but necessary. It’s a way of saying, “You are worthy of time, attention, and kindness.” When the shawl grows large enough to wrap around me, I’ll feel its warmth not just physically but emotionally—a tangible symbol of the love I’m learning to give myself.
This project isn’t just about making something beautiful—it’s a mindful practice that grounds me. It invites me to slow down, to be present with the moment, and to nurture my spirit through creativity.
I’ve also started creating little rituals—like setting aside time throughout the day to journal, jotting down what I’m grateful for or what I need to nurture my spirit in that moment. These pauses don’t require grand gestures or special occasions; they’re about choosing presence, kindness, and patience with myself, whenever I need it most.
For military spouses and creators navigating constant change and busy schedules, these mindful pauses can feel like lifelines. They help me reconnect with my needs and desires amid the chaos, reminding me that self-love isn’t a luxury but a necessity.
Even on days when I feel overwhelmed or stretched thin, I try to find one small thing I can do just for me—whether it’s stepping outside to breathe fresh air, listening to a favorite song, or simply closing my eyes for a few moments of stillness.
These small, intentional practices are teaching me that joy isn’t something to chase—it’s something to welcome by caring for myself with compassion and presence.
Practical Ways to Nurture Self-Love and Shift Old Beliefs
Learning to value yourself is a practice that unfolds one small step at a time. Here are a few gentle strategies I’m exploring—and invite you to try—that have helped me move from old, limiting beliefs toward a more compassionate, joyful way of being.
Notice Your Inner Voice: Pay attention to the thoughts that arise when you consider your own needs. For me, it was common to think, “I shouldn’t ask for help,” or “My needs aren’t as important.” When these thoughts come up, I pause and ask myself, “Is this true? Where did I learn this?” Often, these beliefs trace back to childhood or cultural expectations. Simply noticing them creates space to question and reframe.
Create a Self-Love Ritual: I found it helpful to carve out small, daily moments just for me. This might be savoring a cup of tea while watching the sunrise, or spending ten minutes knitting without distraction. These rituals don’t have to be elaborate; their power lies in consistent, intentional care.
Honor Your Needs: Setting boundaries was a game-changer. Saying “no” to extra commitments or asking for help when overwhelmed felt uncomfortable at first, but gradually became acts of self-respect. I remind myself that honoring my needs isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for my well-being and my ability to show up fully for others.
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: I keep a journal where I note even the smallest acts of self-care or moments when I challenged a limiting belief. Celebrating these wins, no matter how tiny, builds momentum and reinforces a positive self-image.
Reflect with Compassion: When I journal, I sometimes write letters to myself from a place of kindness—acknowledging struggles, offering encouragement, and reminding myself that growth is a journey, not a destination.
Reflection Prompt:
What is one old belief about your worth or your needs that you’re ready to gently challenge? How might you nurture yourself today, even in a small way?
Embracing Self-Love as a Lifelong Journey
This journey toward valuing and loving myself is ongoing—filled with discoveries, setbacks, and moments of grace. I don’t have all the answers, and some days are harder than others. But each time I choose to listen to my needs, to care for myself with kindness, and to gently challenge old beliefs, I open a little more space for joy to grow.
As a military spouse and creator, life often feels like a balancing act—between service and self-care, between giving and receiving. I’m learning that these aren’t opposing forces but parts of a whole. When I nurture myself, I become better able to show up fully for others and for my creativity.
Thank you for walking this part of the mindfulness journey with me. I hope you feel encouraged to honor your own worth and to welcome joy in your life, in whatever form it takes. Remember, you are deserving of love, care, and happiness—simply because you are you.
I’d love to hear from you: What small act of self-love can you practice today? Share your thoughts or stories in the comments, and let’s continue supporting each other on this path.
With warmth and gratitude,
Latosha